Ch. 9 - Mild, but Impactful

Content Warning: Homophobic Slur, Depictions of Assault & Disassociation, Vague & Surreal Disorientation
↓ This is the Audio Companion for Chapter 9!↓ 

At this point, Joshua's mind... is shut down. Just... completely closed off from all stimuli. At least as far as I can tell.

And this is particularly disturbing to me because he's still interacting and moving along with everything as if he wasn't. I'll go on normally, to the best of my ability from now since it doesn't... look like anything's wrong but... I don't know how long this'll be going for.

Joshua, Brandenson, It'kara and Tor'me made their way outside again, the sun almost hanging overhead as it was still very early in the day. Joshua turned to the left to look at 'Ichael, coming from the direction of the barracks. He stopped walking with the rest of the group, and Bran noticed that almost immediately, also stopping to talk to Joshua.
"Joshu--"

But Bran stopped turning to him once he understood what he just saw as his eyes traveled. 'Ichael was walking towards them.

And his clothes were torn.

And he was limping.

"Oh my god," Bran exclaimed as he almost stumbled starting to run, Joshua following him closely. It'kara and Tor'me, noticing the same sight, followed after them, shock permeating the air between all of them.

"What happened to you?" Bran asked, his voice becoming shaky.

Joshua also said 'Are you okay, kid?', but... I guess you can't hear him. Not through me.

Tor'me and It'kara were completely speechless behind them, keeping their distance in their uncertainty.

"I don't..." 'Ichael said, weakly. He lifted his face to the both of them, covered in sweat and beads of blood from a relatively small wound on his head. "He's coming..."

Uh... 'Who?' said Joshua.

Which was answered almost immediately by the shouting in the street ahead.

"The fuck did you go?"

'John'.

"I'm not done with--" he continued, but then cut himself off when he saw Joshua and Bran. He then tightened his grip on his wrench, his face, previously a frustrated scowl, turned to smiling. Rather viciously. "Oh. I wondered where you two were."

Bran and Joshua got in the way between 'Ichael and 'John', despite the latter being quite a long way from any of them as he took his sweet time walking over.

Bran put on the bravest face he could in the moment as he growled, "Stay. Away. From him."

'John' chuckled. "I'm not scared of you. Especially not you," he finished, as he pointed the wrench at Joshua, small specks of blood falling to the sand as it shifted in his hand.

"I mean... you of all people, doing something for the General? With him, no less? The two fucking freak fags?!" 'John's voice was getting louder again, as he started laughing at the sentences that just came out of his mouth. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was losing my mind. Unless... ya know... that was a lie."

Closer.

'You wanna find out?' Joshua said, also scowling.

"Shut it," 'John' commanded. "I've heard it out of this shitheap's own mouth," he continued, pointing the wrench back at Bran.

Closer still.

"So... scared?" 'John' said, his eyes widening. "Running behind the 'officer' excuse?"

In breathing distance.

"Running away in gener--hrrk!!"

'John' moved very quickly to the right of them and up.

Tor'me stepped in to take matters into his own hands, lifting 'John' up far from the ground by the collar of his shirt, while his other hand took the wrench and tossed it aside. Bran, and probably also Joshua, could more clearly see the pupils of his eyes as the sun cascaded onto his face; narrow and sharp, despite being in shadow.

"You heard him," Tor'me growled, most of his emotion not apparent through most of his face.

'John's face, however, was almost pure white. Apparently, he hadn't noticed the blue figures standing behind.

"Stay away from him."

Tor'me threw 'John' off his grip, and he tumbled back and over himself once he landed unfavorably, still white, and speechless.

Joshua was standing back, fear on his face, leaving Bran to hold 'Ichael up until It'kara approached in strong concern.

"What-- uh... what-what do you want me to do?" It'kara said, stumbling over their words.

"Can you help him?" Bran said, panic leaking into his voice as he looked between them and Tor'me.

It'kara looked to Tor'me, their eyes unsteady. Tor'me didn't have a response to give, still regarding the situation.

It'kara then made up their own mind, even with some lingering shakiness. "Ye... Yes! We'll bring him with us!", they finished, regaining their composure as they reached out to help lift 'Ichael.

"Okay, okay..." Bran breathed out, placing 'Ichael into It'kara's arms and standing as his body eased up even in a small way. Tor'me continued glancing over to where 'John' was, who was stepping further and further back, even as they moved further away from him.

Joshua was---

Wait.

...

I can see with Joshua again!

Uh--

He approached Bran, nothing but worry in his mind.

Worry about what would happen to 'Ichael.

From the aliens.

Wait.

"Wait," he said breathlessly, as he approached Bran and put a hand on his shoulder.

Bran turned to him, tears welling up in his eyes.

"What... what are they going to do---"

"WE ARE NOT ARGUING ABOUT THIS!!" Bran said, his fear morphing into profound frustration, as he moved away from Joshua to get closer to 'Ichael, being carried by It'kara as Tor'me seemed to be bringing a pod from the ship down to them from inside the walls.

Joshua stood near the wall of the building he had backed up to earlier, taken back by Bran's outburst.

But as his concern for 'Ichael came back, he found himself following them again.

The whole way - up to the ship and further in than they had previously been - Joshua was... vacant. Uniquely... vacant. In fact, he's not here either.

But I can still feel him. Outside.

Both him and his body are shifting between each other though. Like a telegram system. Both worrying about 'Ichael. But only his body is looking at the door to the room where he's recovering.

Bodies other than his move between the perspectives, sometimes in opposite directions, but never into the door. Humans, fe'rots(?) and some brown furred, much smaller creatures. Most of them not tall enough to clear Joshua's knees.

Even to me, with my perspective, it feels like a fever dream.

And just like Joshua, I don't know what to do. I have... very little, if nothing else to describe. I... I don't even remember what really happened before this.

Like the past didn't happen, not really.

This is a nightmare.

This should have been the end of everything. The murder, the kidnappings. And, in a way, it was. Yet... the suffering prolonged. The years went on, and 'Galvana' was still in that town. With many children still unaccounted for. To the knowledge of this archive, this would come to be known as the longest, and most harrowing hostage situation of the past few centuries in the history of Earth. Unrivaled, even by the history of Ci'tari.

Their eyes were still partially filled with fluid, likely mostly tears. They couldn't tell for sure, since the world around them felt... fuzzy. Hazy? But like... to every sense. It was hard to hear correctly, hard to see well. Lights were too blurry to hurt while looking at them, as far as 'Ichael could tell, anyway. Things were feeling really scary, to say the least.

But... everybody was there. I found them.

...I'll be okay, right?

One can only hope.

Images... moving images blended together in short bursts, disorientation filling the gaps between them. Sometimes a few seconds, sometimes close to a minute. Sometimes, they could hear someone ask them a question.

"Can you hear me?"

"Can you still hear me?"

'Ichael would respond; "I can hear you", but they couldn't hear themself speak, not in the moment. At one point, they felt sick, and turned to their side to let it out. Whether or not it did come out, they couldn't tell. People touched them on the ribs, thighs, head. Softly. But every now and then, a touch hurt, and they'd try to open their eyes to see, but the lights weren't there.

After enough time, 'Ichael just fell asleep. At least, he thought he did. Exhausted from... everything.

...

...

Dreams didn't even come to them. Not that many did in the first place.

But this was the first time it felt... wrong to not dream.

...

...

After some time, 'Ichael heard a voice, softly...

"...I'm sorry, 'Ichael..."

...They tried to open their eyes, for the first time in a while, and the light, while not very bright at all, still hurt. At least for the first few moments.

It still didn't feel real, in spite of the much clearer sensations they were experiencing. Even the small grunt they released almost didn't sound like they had made it.

Somebody to the left of 'Ichael shifted at the noise they had made, making them also shift.

Suddenly, a slowly throbbing pain came through 'Ichael's body.

"Please don't move around. Your safe here... we're taking care of you."

The visual noise was going away as the voice spoke out, and 'Ichael could finally tell where they were.

They were lying down in the biggest bed they'd ever seen - or, primarily felt - and were flanked on both sides; Bran on the left, and someone new on the right. A woman with dark skin lighter than Bran's, black hair tied up, and a shirt that almost looked like one of their uniforms, but more... casual? 'Ichael had never seen anything like that before, not even in the books they read with Bran and Joshua.

...

Joshua?

Wait, where--

"Where am I?"

"Your up in the ship," Bran replied, now leaning on the varied frame of the bed 'Ichael was laying on. "They got you help as soon as they could've."

"Yes," the woman responded. "As sudden as it was, I volunteered to help; despite everything they do know, they still need to learn how to nurse humans." She chuckled as the words left her mouth, the reality of them feeling just that little bit silly.

'Ichael felt the same.

"What happened to me?"

"You've suffered from some moderate to severe bruising on much of your body, but it shouldn't be anything that some time and rest can't heal. As for you..." She stepped closer to the bed as the words were spoken, "...have you felt... confused? Like certain events have bled into each other?"

'Ichael thought about it, but it didn't take long for something like that to stick out.

"Yeah," they uttered, a bit weakly.

"Then you definitely experienced a concussion." Her tone suddenly became a bit more serious. "Do you have a headache? Is it hard to keep your eyes open?"

'Ichael hadn't thought about it much but... there was some pain in his head.

"My head hurts, but I don't think my eyes have any problems staying open."

The doctor sighed.

"Is that good?" Bran asked, his voice still breaking a bit.

"Hopefully, but I can't be sure yet." She moved away from the bed as she picked something up and started writing on it. "Typically, if no permanent damage has been done, we could expect the symptoms to go away after around 10-14 days. But... if it's alright with both of you, I would like for them to stay here while they're recovering so we can keep a close eye on things."

Bran looked at 'Ichael, his face more relaxed, coming from his relief but also his exhaustion. He seemed to expect an answer.

"Uh... I guess I don't mind being here," 'Ichael responded, turning his head to the doctor and making a small smile.

"Alright then!" the doctor replied, producing a smile of her own. The tone of the world around them seemed to be getting warmer now, much more 'Ichael's speed. The doctor's face became neutral again as she turned to Bran and asked, "I'm... assuming you want some time?"

Bran didn't answer immediately; it looked like his gaze wandered a bit in thought. "Five minutes?" a statement emerged, uncertain.

"Whatever you need," she replied, reassuringly. As the door opened, she looked back into the room for a moment, and then closed it softly, letting the background noise take place in 'Ichael's head again.

"'Ichael." Bran turned back almost immediately, his voice shaking a bit. "Before you say anything to me, I just..."

His hand was on 'Ichael's shoulder, going from firm grip to almost slipping off his body and floating into the air.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. I... I shouldn't have let that bastard get close to you..." His voice barely sounded like his anymore. At least, he didn't sound the way he usually did. They always had some moments of vulnerability, but this was... so much softer. So much more vulnerable, and he didn't think that was possible.

"Hey, what -- what are you talking about?" 'Ichael found himself saying. "I should be sorry. I'm the one who egged him on, like you told me not to..."

"No." Bran's voice gained some authority again, but it still drowned in worry. "I know, but..."

Suddenly, 'Ichael found himself buried in Bran's arms, almost squeezing too hard.

"I know what I told you... I don't know how angry you think I'd be... I'm not sure if I should even be angry. I just can't be."

'Ichael didn't know what to do. He couldn't bring himself to resist, to talk, or even to think, it felt like. But he felt something else. His face feeling warm, tears filling his eyes... 

"I just want you to be okay."

...

Of course... 'Ichael always knew Brandenson and Joshua cared about him. But... 

Well, why wouldn't they act like this, seeing him look so close to death? It initially felt so hard to wrap his head around... but then at some point, he gave up justifying it with his perception of himself, and just hugged Bran back. They stayed like that for a while, letting the ambience and Bran's tired sobs fill the air.

...

...

'Ichael's mind picked back up it's pace, and so did some questions. "What... what about Joshua? What... where is he?"

"He's..." Bran tried to respond, but he had to clear his throat to continue that sentence. "He's outside the room. I blew up at him. He didn't seem to think bringing you here was a good idea. I wasn't having it." Some of that same sadness was there, but a bit conflicted with frustration. "I shouldn't have been that way with him, but... talking to him about anything related to leaving just doesn't feel like it can go anywhere."

Leaving?

"What do you mean leaving? I thought you talked about that like, a few days ago and that's it."

"That's just it. He's convinced hoping that things can be better is pointless. He's going so far as to be... unreasonably skeptical of these people's willingness to help us with you." More frustration, even more reserved than it was a second ago, leaked out of Bran.

'Ichael's mind filled up briefly with the images of Joshua when they first came to the ship. "I thought he was... concerned for me--"

"He is," Bran replied quickly. "I don't want to make it seem like he isn't. I know him better than that."

Bran picked up a tissue from a little table behind him, clearing his nose and standing up.

"But beyond that... I don't know. He hasn't really explained why he feels this way about them, either. At least, not in a way that I understand." Bran wiped some tears off his face. "It's not like I can blame him, either. I mean, I don't hold his perspective at all, but... I probably would've given up hope had we actually managed to make it to the town below us."

The conversation they had that night - however long ago it was again - came back in 'Ichael's head.

"You didn't seem to want to protect that place either."

"No, you're right. I mean, I didn't want those people to die. Not really. But... we're just three people. And everyone hates us. We wouldn't exactly have been able to stop everyone."

Silence came back, for a little bit. Then Bran chuckled abruptly.

"The next night, Joshua told me how much more realistic he was being, talking about being hopeless," he explained to 'Ichael. "It just seems so funny to me now. With all this," he finished, as he waved his hands to the room at large.

'Ichael just sat there and laughed. "Yeah."

Silence again. For a bit longer.

"You know, speaking of leaving..." Bran started, livening back up the conversation, "There is a chance I'm getting my hopes up here, but..."

'Ichael's face showed his interest... piquing.

"But with some help..." Bran continued, gesturing to the door and what rooms might be above them, "...maybe it isn't so impossible to get things to change. To change ourselves."

"Who'd be able to do that?" 'Ichael asked, feeling lost in his head a bit.

"I was thinking the aliens," Bran said, feeling more than happy to finally air his thoughts on the idea. "Considering the relationship they seem to have built with the... the natives," he said, seeming to struggle with finding the word for a little bit, "I don't see why they wouldn't be able to help us. At least, us three."

"Wait," 'Ichael interjected again. "Are you talking about the villagers?"

"Well, it's not really a 'village', at least as the doctor seemed to talk about it. And yes, she's from the town herself. I still don't understand much about it--"

Bran seemed to stop in his thoughts, a look of curiosity forming on his face.

"What?" 'Ichael asked.

"Hey," he said, looking back to 'Ichael. "Do you think you can walk?"

'Ichael looked down at his legs after spacing out for a bit. He tried moving them one after the other. First, the left; nothing out of the ordinary. Then his right--

"Ah-!"

Some pain came through the motion, bringing his leg back down and making Bran reach reactively. 'Ichael slumped back into the bed.

"I don't think so," he responded, letting go of all of his breath.

It took a bit for Bran's face to go back to a normal expression. "Okay," he said, softly, moving his hand back and looking over to the door. "Well... I think I'm gonna go talk to them about some things. Clear things up, find out more about... everything, if I can." He leaned back to 'Ichael. "You think you'll be okay here?"

"Yeah," 'Ichael replied, also wanting to learn more. Of course I'll be okay here, he thought.

"Okay," Bran continued. "Joshua's outside, last time I saw him. Was a while ago, but he should keep you company."

Silence. For a short bit. Nothing else to say, really. And then when Bran finished his thoughts, he made a quick wave goodbye, turned to the door and left.

'Ichael then fell back a bit, trying to relax and rest his neck. It didn't hurt, but it was getting harder and harder to just keep it up. Thankfully, the support behind him seemed to be more than enough.

While his thoughts died down a bit, he thought he could hear some voices outside. Maybe Joshua and Bran? But he couldn't really be sure, the walls were too thick to tell. They sounded... quiet enough that whoever was talking seemed to be calm, so if it was Joshua and Bran, then they weren't fighting with each other.

Then the door opened, and Joshua stepped inside, his eyes and face seeming... stunned? Something like that. He seemed to recognize 'Ichael well enough at least, since he walked up to him... after checking behind the door first before closing it.

"How do you feel?" He asked, in the kind of concern 'Ichael was expecting. Nothing making him worry just yet.

"I feel alright. Leg hurts, but they're keeping an eye out for me. I'm not worried," 'Ichael finished, bringing a smile to their face and chuckling. "I didn't think things would get like that. Then again, I pushed things huh?"

...

The tone of 'Ichael's words didn't seem to make things easier on Joshua's mind.

"...Yeah," he said, like he forgot to respond. "Sorry it's just..." Joshua continued, rubbing his forehead with his hand, "...I don't-- I don't like this place. For you, or any of us."

Oh no.

"What... uh, why?" 'Ichael asked, playing along.

Joshua tilted his head at 'Ichael and lightly scoffed. "Why?" he responded, making more hand motions than he usually does. "You don't feel even a little bit weird at the idea of placing so much trust into these... people? These people from a completely different world? That we cannot reasonably expect to truly have our best interest at heart?"

'Ichael's face cringed a little and he turned to try to hide it. "I mean," he started saying back, but then he paused.

What am I supposed to say to that?

I mean, you do know what you want to say.

Yeah, but... how do I say it to him?

Well... can't know if it won't work if you don't try.

I suppose.

"...okay, sure," he began again, "they might just not have our best interests at heart. I don't know what's going on in their heads."

"Exactly," Joshua began, but 'Ichael wasn't done talking, and also trying his best to keep calm.

"But," 'Ichael continued, trying to keep himself heard, "I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that big guy - what ever his name is - doesn't like me much. That at least I do know."

Joshua didn't seem to want to back down so easily. "We dealt with him before. We can do it again."

"But what were you going to do if It'kara and Tor'me weren't there?"

Joshua paused, his face getting whiter. "We... No, we definitely could've fought him off. And then someone could take care of you--"

"Who?" 'Ichael said, getting a little louder. The conversation was making him anxious. "You and Bran aren't medics. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a medic. Probably avoiding us. Like everyone else does." Those last words went under his breath, mostly trying in vain to keep himself quieter.

Joshua paused again. He seemed desperate for this.

"The other barracks. If Bran talked to--"

"What, you mean the barracks Bran left?"

"Yes! If he--"

"Joshua, I don't think that barracks want anything to do with him. He doesn't talk about it much."

Joshua got lost in thought.

And he sat in thought for about half a minute.

"Joshua?" 'Ichael asked, bringing his hand in front and a bit away from Joshua's face. The action seemed to bring him back to the moment, as his eyes swung back to 'Ichael from where they drifted to.

"I need to ask him about that."

Joshua then darted out the door, so fast that it felt like 'Ichael almost didn't see it happen.

Suddenly, 'Ichael was completely alone.

...

What just happened?

Hey, don't look at me! I don't know what's going on in his head.

...

More silence.

It unnerved 'Ichael. All of that energy, the first real argument it seems like he had... gone. Those words he said, about Galvana and not trusting people...

All that energy he breathes whenever it feels like he can... decaying in his body.

His hands started fidgeting around, gripping the sides of the bed, the sheets. To his right, he found something just a bit above his head.

A button?

He accidentally pressed it, and a beep from the ceiling startled him. He shifted, the motion making his leg hurt again, but not in any serious way.

Soon after, the door to the room opened, and an alien nurse stepped in.

They said something 'Ichael couldn't understand, and then they stopped, brought their head down a bit and tapped something in their ear.

"Is something wrong?" they said, the words translated.

...

'Ichael's thoughts were a little mess right now, as he was trying to think of something to say. "Uh..." was the only thing that came out right now, just making the nurse confused.

Then the only concern he really knew of right now came back to him.

Energy. Decaying.

"Do... you want to talk?"